Category Archives: Orange Tree

Obsessed

You may recall that I went on a buying trip with my momma for Orange Tree this past winter. It was cold. We shopped til we dropped. That’s basically the gist. BUT on that trip, my mom opened up a WORLD of bridal euphoria to me in the form of (enter dramatic “Dun-dun-DUNNNN” music): Registry items.

Girls (who are married), you thought you had too many options when you held that magic scanning gun at Target? Trying to choose which Correll would make its way in to your kitchen, plain white or the plates with the double rim border? Well, my mom allowed me to register at an INTERNATIONAL TRADE SHOW. Hello options, I am indecisive and inexperienced, let’s have some fun.

It didn’t take me long to find the perfect dinner ware for Stockton and I. It’s modern, timeless, and most important: it is our ONLY set. We aren’t into having separate casual and formal china, so we decided to choose a middle of the road line called Russel Wright, which my more mature audience may recall from the 1960’s – It was the original glazed dinnerware line that led to the introduction of the well-known Fiesta Ware. The Russel Wright name and original collection was recently acquired by Bauer Pottery and so, Ta Da, I have a dinnerware line that I am goo-goo-ga-ga over.

Feast your eyes.

OK, pick your jaw up and let me explain. The dinner sets were ordered in 3 colors: White, granite, and chartreuse. With those three colors and 12 sets total, I can make ENDLESS combinations of dinner settings. I’m sure my more mathematically savvy readers could give me an actual number of settings that is possible with that combination but I prefer endless. Thanksverymuch.

So I hereby invite you all to dinner after I get married. We can eat totally crappy cooking on totally killer plates. Or better yet, carry out.


An angry letter

Dear vendor-who-shall-remain-nameless-because-despite-your-complete-idiocy-I-still-want-customers-to-like-your-stuff,

Hi. Thanks for sending us your crap in your “green packaging”. I noticed immediately when I received four totally mangled boxes with the words “Recognize this box? We recycle our packaging!” that you must really be an environmental hero. Or a cheapskate who doesn’t want to invest in half decent boxes. You know, I hear there are actually companies who specialize in green packaging and it doesn’t involve rooting through the dumpster to find scrap cardboard that you might somehow be able to manipulate with the help of enough packing tape to look like a real, live, shipping box. The irony I notice in your total disregard for sturdy packaging is that you sell glassware. Seriously? Is it worth having to replace items one in every three times you ship something because of your crappy packing habits?

Upon trying to determine what side is “Up” because of all the hieroglyphics on this “recycled” piece of garbage, I dove right into the mess that is your padding of choice. And herein lies my incredible pissed-off-ness at you. Not only do you not invest in BOXES, but you don’t even have packing peanuts or bubble wrap for the GLASSWARE that you send. It’s funny, because I would think that of ALL my vendors, you might have the most secure and tidy packaging habits, but who am I to make such rash assumptions of a person’s integrity in their brand????

As the box opens, I find none other than what must be twenty seven magazine’s worth of shredded AND cut magazine paper. I say shredded and cut because shreds of paper are typically the length of a page. Your shreds were about 2 inches per 1/8 inch each. And there. Were. Millions. Again, a hint of irony: Perhaps since you are so “green” you might consider online subscriptions to your magazines instead of wasting so much money at the newsstand? I mean, just a totally outrageous thought of an innocent bystander.

When your packing material is comprised of shards of the thinnest paper known to man, it takes a helluva lot of said paper to provide any amount of cushion and shock absorption for the safe handling of your packages. This left me in quite the predicament yesterday when I found it absolutely impossible to transfer 65 million shards of Cosmopolitan and Sports Illustrated safely and cleanly into my kitchen-sized garbage bags (6 of them, I might add, once everything was unpacked). So gradually, my floor began to look like a landfill, much like I imagine your home looks if this is the integrity you take in the products you deliver to paying customers. I can only imagine your standard of living back in the Eco-land that is your apartment.

My customers were amused by your packaging, to say the least. Amused, repulsed, and I think a little beside themselves that the GLASSWARE I was unpacking was coming from these boxes that really more resembled an economy sized package of confetti. If you would’ve sent party hats, we could’ve at least made it a good time.

Wrapping your GLASSWARE in pieces of newspaper also seemed a little less than adequate. I mean, I realize if you wrap enough layers of ANYTHING around an item, it should somewhat protect it, but again with the trash contribution. YOU might be green and you may consider this recycling, but I have nowhere to store all this garbage except the dumpster, which goes straight to a landfill. If you used packing peanuts and bubble wrap, however, which are reputable materials for such a task as packing GLASS, I would’ve kept those because I realize the value and integrity of those products and would like to “recycle” valuable goods such as these. See how we can recycle more than just what we dumpster dive for? Ingenious, I know. Work with me here, these are big girl concepts.

After completely causing my vacuum to seize up, shake violently, and chop the shreds into teeny tiny, un-pick-up-able pieces, I had to resort to calling my mother to bring me her vacuum from home. And so I walked around in a landfill of my own for the better part of my Monday thanks to the wonderful concept of recycling.

What I suggest for you, dear vendor, would be a novel concept: If you are so hell bent on recycling, perhaps you may want to get a recycling bin and invest in the wonderful efforts of recycling companies to take care of your paper trash. Just a thought….

Goodbye forever.

Courtney


I caved

Are you there, Blog World? It’s me, Courtney. 

So, for those of you who aren’t my sister, Kaley (the contributor that forced me into this), I am new to blogging and was, as stated previously, guilted into this because my hormonal sister wanted new reading material.  After trying to convince said sister that I am a) not an intriguing writer who b) has nothing captivating or worthwhile to write about with c) no interest in maintaining a website or anything beyond email, I was overruled and caved in.  I now have a blog, and you, my lucky reader, get to deal with my new capability to vent, blab, brag, comment, and blab about whatever I want. Did I mention I have a tendency to blab when writing without supervision? This could be very blissful 🙂

Seeing as I am new to this game and don’t know exactly how to get this baby off the ground, I will start with a list because who doesn’t like a good, old fashioned “100 things I know you are dying to learn about me” run down??? Well, your wait is over, and you can breathe a sigh of relief. Here are 100 things I know you are dying to know about me.

 

1. My name is Courtney.   My sister bosses me around.  I’m having a hard time getting this list started with things you don’t already know.

2. I am 5’4″ but wish i were 5’0″. Right now my shoes are making me 5’8″ and if there were shoes that could have an opposite effect and make you appear shorter than you actually are, I would buy them. 

3. I work at the Orange Tree, and am responsible for spreading joy throughout the land of Granger via fun, funky gifts and whimsical treasures. Tempted? Stop in. 

4. My boyfriend, Stockton, hasn’t blogged in a long time and I miss reading about his aero-adventures 😦

5. I love Kourtney Kardashian, and am not sure whether to be proud of that or not. 

6. Kaley, my bossy older sister, is prego!!! HOORAY!!!! (By the way, I mean the bossy thing in a loving way)

7. My little sister, Maddie, is a beauty queen. 

8. My mom, Jamie, is my fashion icon. She’s either a class act or covered in paint. I love both looks but I often resemble the sloppy, paint covered version more. Unfortunately, I don’t have creativity to use as my excuse….. In fact, I don’t have an excuse. With that, on to #9!!

9. I never pay full price for clothing. Call me thrifty, please… I prefer it to “cheap”. 

10. I do not like cats. Icky icky poo poo. No offense if you are a cat lover; I suggest we just don’t talk about it so that we both can live happily ever after. 

11. I have two dogs , two doggy angels, and  the demonic equivalent of a cat angel. Nah, she wasn’t that bad. Guilt by association really. If she were a dog, we could’ve gotten along quite nicely I’m sure. 

12. I am blogging at work. Shhhh don’t tell mom. 

13. I feel like I am running out of things to blog about already. Don’t give up on me yet. 

14. I paint my nails daily because if one nail chips, the rest of them are doomed and swiftly get picked off. My apologies to anyone who has had to vacuum as a result of my OCD nail polish picking. 

15. I have sold fifteen purse hooks in the last week. These little babies are HOT! You can find them at the aforementioned happiest place in northern Indiana

16. I prefer my eggs over easy, my coffee with cream, and my love with reckless abandon.

17. I stole that quote from a cocktail napkin (also found at the land of all things orange).

18. Even though the quote is not my own, I really do agree with all of those things. 

19. Bubble Bath is one of my favorite OPI nail polish colors, but I find it IMPOSSIBLE to apply myself because for some unknown reason, it takes eons to dry. That is, I cannot paint my own nails and then sit still long enough for them to dry perfectly and look like they are straight out of a chop shop, not to mention if there is a teeny flaw on one nail, the other nine are goners too. I have nail issues. See fact # 14.

20. When my hair is short, I want it long and when it is long, I chop it off. My hair is currently short and I am popping stupid-expensive vitamins daily and washing it with horse shampoo in an effort to make it grow. I really do swear by the vitamins though!! What I really need is a restraining order against me from all beauty salons in my region.

21. I once received an award titled the “Ellie Mae” award for being the only little girl who played on the boys’ soccer team. I thought it was a compliment but it was really more of an identity crisis. I have since started wearing skirts and jewelry and am a much more girly individual overall. 

22. I can pick things up with my toes. Yes, like a monkey. 

23. My mom calls me a babysitting prostitute. Before you go getting all freaked out thinking I’m some sort of weirdo, please allow me to explain this term of endearment to you so that you don’t get the wrong idea: I am willing to drop anything and begrudgingly babysit for the most horrendous of children if it means a few bucks in my purse. It’s like a sickness really. But most of the kids I babysit for really are little angels and I love them very much. This term is really only used in regards to one family which will go unnamed for the safety of my income. HA. I’ve already said too much, I know it. Now I’m questioning if I should post this. Since the family lives in Maryland and has twelve kids, I’m sure they agree that it’s a heinous job taking care of their brood (note: this is false on all accounts, I’m just trying to throw you off the scent). (I think I’m rambling). (Kaley told me this is what happens when you have a blog). (I warned you I blab without supervision). On to #24 before I say something else to incriminate myself any more on this.  

24. My honey is coming to Michigan from Phoenix in five days to spend the whole summer with me!!!!! Well, not really with me since he would’ve come regardless as he has every summer of his life, but I’m going to go ahead and be selfish and say he’s coming to see me. So there. 

25. I have just decided this will be the end of my list for today so that I have three more excuses to blog in life: facts 26-50, 51-75, and 76-100. 

 

So, people, thus concludes my first introduction to the blog world. It is a pleasure to meet you and I will try to not be as hot and cold with you as I have been with my arch-nemesis, Facebook.  I hereby swear to be faithful to you for at least the next 3 posts and I hope we can be good friends.