Wedding Day {Second Installment}: Primping

Following my morning with Kate, it was off to the hair salon for some beauty time.  Salon Nouveau did our hair, which is where we all get our hair done anyway, so we knew and loved all of our stylists, which, phew, makes that process of getting an updo/blowout (or blow job ahem JAMIE!!) a little more relaxed.  And just for the record, there was nothing kinky about any of our hairstyles, my mom just can’t embrace the difference between calling it a blowout versus a bow job. HUGE DIFFERENCE MOM.

Two weeks earlier, I had gotten a trial updo from my stylist.  I liked it. It was classic, controlled, and very lovely. Way too severe for an outdoor wedding, though. I had forever thought that I would wear my hair curly at the wedding, and then I got this straight updo and after looking at the bridal portraits I had taken that day, I was all SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES!  And so on the morning of my wedding, I changed the game by wearing my hair curly to the appointment. Oh yeah, and bringing fake hair…  because why make it easy on the poor girl? If I’m going to change the style, I’m going to make the stylist miserable in doing so.  I mean, YOU try teasing an 18″ toupe into looking like a romantic and lovely braided updo!!!! WITHOUT ANY PRACTICE OR NOTICE! Don’t worry, I let her get revenge by chopping off my hair after the honeymoon, thus relieving her from any other updo hell in the future.

This is what my poor stylist had to work with. She was cussing under her breath.

This is my nightmare. Please note the Pepto and Diet Coke bar.

Mom getting her blow job.

After hair (which took me about a half hour longer than anyone because of the toupe mess, thus leaving me to drive like a bat out of hell by myself to the ceremony site) we proceeded to have our makeup done by the wonderful and talented Gabrielle Thompson of GabGlam.  Gabby has been doing Kaley, Maddie and my makeup for a decade. A DECADE. Um, can I get a What What on feeling old there? She has been there for weddings, proms, winter formals, and all of life’s other very made-up occasions and we think she’s thebomb {dot} com.

It was really nice having our own little room where we could eat cheese and crackers, drink lots of Pepto Bismol, take lots of Gas X, sweat a lot from our armpits… y’know…. regular old wedding day stuff. Clearly my mom really loved it. Or she was just feeling really good still from her blow job. OK I KNOW! Too far with the blow job jokes. I’ll stop. Maybe.

Avalon loves cheese too.

Finished makeup and Miss Punkin

Kaley gettin' her face did.

All in all, once the toupe was tamed, the primping was lots of fun, and very relaxed, which was exactly what we needed.  Supposedly, the men did some primping of their own of which I know not of, so I will use my bro-in-law, Rob’s, pictures as narrative of said male primping.

Muh hubs

Usher. Like the singer, only with a bum hand.

Getting distracted by the exhibits in the car museum.... GUYS!!!

Finished products

And just for good measure… BLOW JOB BLOW JOB BLOW JOB BLOW JOB!!!

Next: Ceremony and Bird Poop…. Stay tuned.