Trash The Dress

There have been a lot of dress happenings going on this week. We bought the flower girl dress. Then we bought another one and returned the first one. We bought the flower girl’s rehearsal dress. Then we bought another one and returned the first one. Sound familiar? Then we got notification that Hallelujah, there was a great reason I went out to buy a third bridesmaid dress because, THANKSFORNOTHIN, Ann Taylor: those dresses (dress style numero duo) we sent back in request for an EXCHANGE, are permanently unavailable. UMMMMM.  But I’m over it.

So finally, the other big dress happening this weekend has been the fitting and retrieval of my dress.

**Angels singing**

Of course, a process that most people stretch out over the course of several weeks has taken my mom and I a whopping 5 days. Because why do things the conventional way? RIGHT? Who needs a fitting the week or two before their wedding??? NAHHHHHHH.

So anyway, the concept of dresses has been on muh brain, and I wanted to get your takes on this trend of trashing the dress. We had a customer come in to the store once and tell us that her daughter in law had done it. She even showed us the pictures online (and I must say, nothing can quite rip a woman from bridal innocence like laying wet on a beach with sand across your boobs in a tattered gown with wet hair sticking to your face while biting your lip). I will say, I have seen some tasteful TTD pics, so I am not hating. My MOTHER on the other hand could not contain herself when she saw these pictures. You would’ve thought someone had shown her a picture of a bunch of dismembered puppies trying to chase their tails. She was horrified. Can we also explain why most TTD pictures involve water? These girls in their huge, white gowns just look like misplaced giant jellyfish!! NOT SEXY LADIES!! Behold:

Next she is going to show us how she can make her hair look like George Washington’s.

Big, unsexy Jelly Fish

I have visions of her dress getting caught on a snaggly nail and pulling her in. Bye bye bride.

See what I mean about that bridal innocence? And where is your groom/why are you this ecstatic and he’s nowhere to be found??

It is no coincidence that pigs roll in the mud. OK, that was mean. BUT COME ON!!!

All she is thinking is “Oh God, what have I done???”

I actually think this one is rather lovely and ethereal.

Sooooooo classy, this couple is.

I’m sorry, am I the only one who thinks she looks totally dead?

Because few things are sexier than rubbing mud on your breasts.

Can you say Runaway Bride?

This one is really nothing special but HOLY SLEEVES!!!

Too far, dangit!!! Good grief, this is wrong on so many levels.

I must say, the thought crossed my mind.  Like I said, I’m not a total hater, it’s just not for me. Not to mention my mother would die. And then kill me. And no one wants that drama.

Did you trash your dress? Do you know anyone that did? Thoughts? Hilarious stories? DO TELL!